I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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