Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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