? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize