On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
