Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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