I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
