WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
