smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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