Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
