i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think my moral compass just broke
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