it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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