talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
