I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
