I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
