my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
