trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
