no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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