How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
