Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
