Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I understand Curling. That high.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He felt like a one man threesome
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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