i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
