I just saw a hot homeless man
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
His nipple licking is glorious
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