I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize