My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
