this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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