nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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