i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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