i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
