I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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