Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
