Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
