I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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