do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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