He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
