I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize