I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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