Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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