yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
