There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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