Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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