so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
