Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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