she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
