i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
