his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
where are you?
Hypothermia
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
