Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
