don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
