My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
