5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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