so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
