Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
