Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
