I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
