he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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