well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize