I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
