I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
