i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just found puke in my bra..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
