Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
