If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
3pm strippers are depressing
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
