wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
