i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
