Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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