I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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