My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
