clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
