dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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