yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
